Who Knew...they have hills in Northern Ohio?

So Jr. and I decided not to participate in the XterraOne race this past weekend (long story). BUT really needed to get a good long replacement ride in, so what do we decide to do? That's it, go to Mohican State Park and call out the 25 mile trail that Spokejunkes calls an "Epic" ride.

Sunday comes, up out the door, stop for gas, stop for other issues...2 hours and 60 miles later we roll into the lot. Dress, under the bridge see the singletrack going up but choose to follow the big red arrow that says "mountain bike trail" up a gravel road (large loose gravel) then I hear comical laughter coming from my mouth as I am untangling Jr. from his bike. Not only did he fall over in the loose gravel on this stupid hill, he fell over the side. Not to mention, we were on the bridal trail. OK, back down the hill, find the bike trail off we go. Getting our groove on, trying to keep the heart rate in check and feeling pretty good about our bad selves. "No way we are going to let anyone pass us, we are rolling". Yea, right, here they come, matching kits, two hours of water...FOUR SINGLESPEEDS doing mach 1. Well so much for confidence...

...Just keep pedaling, just keep pedaling, just keep pedaling. Do the first 8 miles in an hour, not bad for rookies. Then Mr. Mechanic un-clips and leaves his cleat in his pedal. Yes this happened to him two weeks ago and one would assume he put them on tighter this time? You know what they say about assume. After 12 mosquito bites, 50 F-bombs and 15 minutes he concedes we are not going to get the cleat out of the pedal and his right foot is riding BMX style from here on out.

Hit some nice climbs and fast downhills and roll under the covered bridge at the halfway mark. It's been a great ride, feeling it, but none the less feeling strong. We are a little confused about the trail and some dufus in Van's catches up with us and points us up the road. He says something to the effect of "there is a really good climb here and then look out for mile 21". Soooo, off we go up the hill, then up another hill, then up another hill, then a little down hill, then a gravel logging road that goes, that's right uphill for about a freaking mile, turn left down a quick twister then up another hill...OK mile 18 and I am still going up. What the hell was that dude talking about just a hill up ahead here, then lookout for mile 21? When am I going to stop climbing??????? My legs are jelly, my heart rate jumps 20 bpm just thinking about the next hill and I want some answers: A) we parked in a damn valley so we have to go down sometime, right? B) what the hell could possibly be at mile 21 that could hurt me after all this? C) I don't want to come back as a Billy Goat in another life, but I could use a pack mule to get me out of these woods.

Hit mile 20 start to decend and one should feel good, but all I can think is "wait until mile 21". Cross the road and surprise! Up another damn hill, down the valley cross the bridge and I hear Jr. up ahead yelling "hit it hard, keep coming". My brain is no longer getting oxygen so I just pedal past him and there it is. Mile marker 21, relatively small hill ahead. Hit it, make it about 1/3 up, lungs explode, shale and gravel flying everywhere, come on legs move...nope, dead end. Some how I get off safely and as my lungs beg for Oxygen Jr. passes me pushing his bike telling me "I would have made it if I had seen it...blah, blah, blah."

About a mile later, as I am unpuckering from the straight down rocky switchbacks I somehow survived, I am wandering why the hell I am out here and how the hell I am going to get out of the woods alive? Then two older dudes fly by and tell us, don't worry it gets easier every time you do it. If they can do it that fast, we can do it that fast. How did they know we already couldn't wait to come back?

I think Hot Dog The Movie said it best, "We were small, but we were slow, next time we'll have uniforms."